10 Steps toward a Good Death; or, why you need an end-of-life plan

Michael Williams
5 min readNov 7, 2022
Photo courtesy of Pixabay

What is a “good death”? For me, it’s knowing that your “ducks are in a row” or, in other words, that you’ve taken care of business so that your family and significant others aren’t left with a mess to sort out when you’re gone. That means having the necessary legal, financial, and other “final arrangements” sorted, including your will, powers-of-attorney, funeral plans, Advance Directive, and any other legacy or wishes you want to have carried out after you’re gone.

Below, I’ve offered 10 steps toward what I hope you will consider a “good death”. Consider making your arrangements sooner rather than later so that your family doesn’t have to sort things out when you’re gone. Consider your planning as a gift of love. Your family will appreciate it.

  1. Make a Will and Update it when necessary. When it comes to end-of-life planning, most people think of a Will. But thinking about a Will is not the same as having a Will. Did you know that nearly 60% of Americans don’t have a Will? Do you know what happens if you die without one? Headaches piled onto the grief your loved ones are already feeling. Your estate could be tied up in probate court for a long time and it’s not likely it will be distributed in the way you wanted. Please, get a Will and ensure that you update it when your life changes. Because it will.
  2. Create an Advance Directive. It’s very likely that at some point in your life you will require medical treatment and care. Your doctors and nurses will do everything they can to make you comfortable and get you back on your feet again. But despite their skills, sometimes that’s not possible. What happens if you’ve been diagnosed with a long-term illness requiring special care? Or, what if you receive a terminal diagnosis? I know, no one wants to think about that but it happens. And better to be prepared than not. That is where an Advance Directive can help. Sometimes called a “letter of wishes” or “a living will”, an Advance Directive is a formal document that outlines your wishes for the kind of medical treatment and health care you would like and, importantly, not want. For example, in light of a serious, terminal illness, you may prioritize the quality of time over quantity. That might mean ruling out invasive treatments like CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) chemotherapy or intubation or being kept on a life support machine. Having an Advance Directive in place can assure your family and the medical professionals that they are meeting your needs and treating you in the manner you wish. Of course, your Advance Directive is not “written in stone”. You will always be asked for your opinion when possible. But what if that’s not possible? Move to the next step.
  3. Have a Power-of-Attorney for Health Care. Sometimes called a “Substitute Decision Maker”, your power-of-attorney for health care is someone you have appointed to speak on your behalf when you are unable to do so. This is someone you trust and who knows your wishes and the reasons why you’ve made them. It will also be someone who can communicate your wishes to family and medical professionals. Whoever you choose, ensure that family and other significant others are on the same page as your power-of-attorney in order to avoid any conflicts of opinion. Remember, a power-of-attorney is a legal responsibility so make sure that the necessary documents are completed correctly and updated as necessary.
  4. Choose your beneficiaries wisely. A will is likely to be the first place we look to discover who your beneficiaries are. But we often forget that we’ve designated beneficiaries on other documents — like life insurance policies, investment documents, and 401(k)s. These usually fall outside the scope of the Will so make sure that these are up-to-date and still reflect your current wishes.
  5. Do I need life insurance? Whether or not you require life insurance depends on your situation. Do you have dependents who will need financial assistance when you’re gone? With so many kinds of insurance products available, you should speak to an insurance specialist or financial planner for advice. There are even insurance plans to cover funeral expenses but make sure you read the small print. You don’t want to end up paying more in premiums than a funeral will cost.
  6. Identify and explain your trust arrangements to your family. If you have set up a trust, make sure your family and beneficiaries know about it and where it’s kept. Trusts are a way of protecting particular assets from estate taxes and ensuring that your beneficiaries receive specific advice pertaining to the trust. Explain how your trust works and what needs to be done when you’re gone. Refer them to your attorney who can help them manage it when you’re gone.
  7. Let someone know where your end-of-life planning documents are kept. There’s no point going through all the trouble of completing your end-of-life plans and not telling anyone where they are kept. I completed my first Will using a downloadable template and kept it stored on my laptop. Not only had I neglected to tell anyone where it was, I also hadn’t shared the password to my computer. Even if they knew my will was on my laptop, they wouldn’t have been able to access it. Keep your documents safely stored but make sure your Executor and anyone else who needs access, know where they are and how to access them.
  8. Inform significant others where your financial and non-financial documents and valuables are kept. Similar to the last point, let your Executor and significant others know where you keep your valuables like jewellery and other material assets. Birth certificates, marriage certificates, deeds, investment policies, passports, keys, and other items should be identified and kept in a safe place.
  9. Pre-planned (and pre-paid) funerals and last arrangements can save your family time and money. Letting your family know about your final arrangements can be a welcomed gift. Do you want to be cremated or buried? If burial, traditional or natural/green burial. What about organ donation? Body to medical science? Do you want a headstone or grave marker? A memorial tree or bench or other markers? What kind of funeral or memorial service do you wish? How will your funeral be paid for?
  10. Create a list of professionals who can assist your family once you’re gone. Lawyer, financial advisor, doctor, bank officer, funeral director, end-of-life planning facilitator, accountant, life insurance specialist, as well as trusted tradespeople who can help with domestic needs around the home.

Michael Williams is licensed and accredited Before I Go Solutions End-of-Life Planning Facilitator & Trainer based in Hamilton, Ontario Canada. Contact him if you would like help completing your own end-of-life plan.

Michael’s also a published writer and professional storyteller and Story Coach. When he’s not helping someone talk about their mortality and end-of-life planning, he’s often helping someone create their own legacy story to leave their loved ones. In his spare time, Michael can be found practising his ukulele or writing another short story. Learn more about Michael’s work at https://www.myendoflifeplan.ca and https://www.michaelwilliamsstoryteller.com.

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Michael Williams

I’m a storyteller, StoryCoach, writer, accredited End-of-Life Planning Facilitator, spiritual mentor & podcast host. Oh yeah, I play ukulele.