End-of-Life Planning
“Radical Love” in End-of-Life Planning: A Compassionate Approach
I had no idea what my father wanted. He’d never talked to me about his end-of-life wishes so when I wasn’t speaking to the doctors and nurses, my father and I sat mostly in painful silence. I loved him but didn’t know how to show it and neither did he.
Dr. Michael Williams shares a personal experience and advocates for Satish Kumar’s concept of “radical love” in end-of-life planning.
During my father’s final days in the hospital, I was so focused on his medical treatment and the hope that somehow, his doctors could save him from Stage 4 bone cancer, that I wasn’t present with the reality of the situation. I had no idea what my father wanted. He’d never talked to me about his end-of-life wishes so when I wasn’t speaking to the doctors and nurses, my father and I sat mostly in painful silence. I loved him but didn’t know how to show it and neither did he.
One night, the doctors came to me seeking permission to try a different treatment that would require my father to be hooked up to machines. During the procedure, he suddenly came to and yelled at us, “Don’t you know I’m dying?” All we had succeeded in doing was to make my father very uncomfortable and anxious and to make me feel as if I’d let him down.
